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by ericblair2084
on Tue May 02, 2006 11:12 pm |
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With apologies to David Letterman and Sports Illustrated for combining their ideas, here we will explore the Top 10 signs of why the world has turned topsy-turvy.
I'd love to hear your signs of the apocalypse.
10 days, 10 signs the world is coming to an end. Drum roll please:
10. Death row inmates in New York and California are not allowed to smoke cigarettes because it's bad for their health. |
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ericblair2084
Enthusiastic Smoker
Joined: Mar 19, 2006
Posts: 718
Location: Exit 13/Sulfur Dioxide, Toxic Waste, Superfund, Landfill, $5 Billion in debt, Socialist, NJ
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by ericblair2084
on Wed May 03, 2006 7:36 pm |
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9. Illegal imigrants who don't vote or pay taxes, take to the streets a million strong demanding their right to break our laws. Smokers, who pay more taxes than anyone and obey the law and VOTE, are silent.
The only people who protested in NJ were a few strippers from a local gentleman's club. |
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ericblair2084
Enthusiastic Smoker
Joined: Mar 19, 2006
Posts: 718
Location: Exit 13/Sulfur Dioxide, Toxic Waste, Superfund, Landfill, $5 Billion in debt, Socialist, NJ
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by Torquemeda
on Thu May 04, 2006 3:52 am |
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Why stop with 10?
How about the fact you can be arrested or fined for smoking a cigarette at a bar but in some cities police officers and fireman are not allowed to inquire about someones' immigration status?
How about the studies which say 1 in 10 heavy smokers (Not all, just heavy.) dies of lung cancer (Not mentioning the ages.) yet millions is spent on propaganda every year, instead of investing the money into trying to find a cure?
How about being told that a smoking ban is good for business, then being told it takes a year for the effects to be felt and then being told some businesses are being hurt because it's not a level playing field and then the cycle starts over again in the next city?
How about beach smoking bans in California when there's already littering laws that cover the issue?
More on this later. I'm going to enjoy myself a cig, even though Phillip Morris is really starting to piss me off. |
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Torquemeda
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by JRS9000
on Thu May 04, 2006 7:05 am |
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Uh, why should any prisoners be able to smoke? What are you going to give them next, lobster dinners? How about giving them a nice bottle of wine to go with that meal? And why not let prisoners finish off their meals with a nice Cuban cigar for that matter? Where does it end?
How many of you cry "fry 'em" because "I'm not going to pay for their incarceration" yet are totally fine with allowing them to have cigarettes while in there?
Not being able to smoke in prison is a great deterrent to crime--at least for those criminals who are addicted--you know, like one cigarette every 24 minutes. Tell a smoker that if he commits a crime he won't be able to smoke a cigarette during his prison stay and perhaps he'll think twice about committing a crime. |
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JRS9000
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by runamok
on Thu May 04, 2006 8:19 am |
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JRS9000 wrote: Not being able to smoke in prison is a great deterrent to crime--at least for those criminals who are addicted--you know, like one cigarette every 24 minutes. Tell a smoker that if he commits a crime he won't be able to smoke a cigarette during his prison stay and perhaps he'll think twice about committing a crime.
I was going to comment on this but.....no need....it's so obviously absurd it needs no further dissection |
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runamok
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by JRS9000
on Thu May 04, 2006 8:40 am |
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oh, it does need discussion...very much so.
Do you think prisoners should enjoy lobster dinners and fine wine, too, during their incarceration? How about we provide some plasma big screen TVs with digital cable for them, too? |
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JRS9000
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by runamok
on Thu May 04, 2006 11:24 am |
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JRS9000 wrote: oh, it does need discussion...very much so.
Do you think prisoners should enjoy lobster dinners and fine wine, too, during their incarceration? How about we provide some plasma big screen TVs with digital cable for them, too?
We're talkin friggin camel lights. Big fucking deal.
Should they have coffee? Juice? A pillow? Even a bunk? They can sleep on the floor.
Strap 'em down 24 hours a day and feed them intraveneously so they can't experience even the simple pleasure of eating? They're probably masturbating too. Maybe some special gloves to put an end to that. Or just surgically remove the object of their affection. Enough of this Ritz treatment.
So they enjoy a goddam cigarette. Hardly makes it a resort and spa. |
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runamok
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by ericblair2084
on Thu May 04, 2006 8:41 pm |
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8. "I Love Lucy" would not be allowed to air on network TV today because Lucy and Ricky smoked on screen.
Apparently, gratuitous sex and violence is OK, but lighting up on primetime over the air TV is obscene and offensive. "I Love Lucy" had no sex or violence, but in today's world, it would be censored.
Editors note: I am not opposed to gratuitous sex and violence, mind you. In fact, I think there should be more of it. |
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ericblair2084
Enthusiastic Smoker
Joined: Mar 19, 2006
Posts: 718
Location: Exit 13/Sulfur Dioxide, Toxic Waste, Superfund, Landfill, $5 Billion in debt, Socialist, NJ
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by ericblair2084
on Thu May 04, 2006 9:33 pm |
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Oh by the , Lucy and Ricky, those subversive dirty child abusers, had the nerve to smoke around Little Ricky!
Too bad Governor "Former Fat Bastard" Huckabee was only 6 years old at the time. He would have put an end to that real quick. |
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ericblair2084
Enthusiastic Smoker
Joined: Mar 19, 2006
Posts: 718
Location: Exit 13/Sulfur Dioxide, Toxic Waste, Superfund, Landfill, $5 Billion in debt, Socialist, NJ
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by ericblair2084
on Fri May 05, 2006 9:28 pm |
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7. Dr. Big Brother will see you now.
This is really disturbing.
http://www.acsh.org/healthissues/newsID.1319/healthissue_detail.asp
Earlier this year in New York City, a public heath regulation went into effect that set a new and very troublesome precedent, one that insinuates government agencies into personal medical matters.
In mid-January, the City began legally requiring laboratories that do medical testing to report to the Health Department the results of blood sugar tests for city residents with diabetes -- along with the names, age, and contact information on those patients.
City officials are not only analyzing these data to assess patterns and changes in diabetes prevalence in the City, but are planning "interventions": simply put, diabetics will receive letters and phone calls from City officials offering advice and counsel on how to effectively deal with this medical condition. If you wish to keep your medical data confidential, you cannot. But if you want to avoid the "interventions," you will be able to go online and fill out forms requesting that you not be contacted. That is, you can do that if you even know this program exists and have the sophistication and technology to access the "do not contact" government forms. (None of the New York City newspapers have done any in-depth coverage of this new regulation and its implications.)
Some are resigned to this new regulation, arguing: if government is assigned the role of paying for health care, it is entitled to intervene to reduce the risks of disease and thus reduce the costs.
Read the above JRS. Tell me again why socialized national health care is a brilliant idea.
When the government's phone calls and letters nagging people to eat better, quit smoking, and be more physically active don't work, the next phase of the war on chronic disease may be a harshly punitive one, with fines and other restrictions on those who fail to heed the health warnings. The message will be: live a healthy life or the government will punish you. |
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ericblair2084
Enthusiastic Smoker
Joined: Mar 19, 2006
Posts: 718
Location: Exit 13/Sulfur Dioxide, Toxic Waste, Superfund, Landfill, $5 Billion in debt, Socialist, NJ
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